Jesus was HERE!!!

This song changed me last year.  I heard the lyrics and realized for the first time that Jesus was really here on this earth.  I don't know how I had missed this crucial understanding all the years I have claimed to be a Christian and known Jesus.   Maybe I didn't really know Him as well as I thought...This song was written by Joy Williams and edited to a clip from the movie Nativity Story that came out a few years ago.  If anything, please listen to the lyrics and let them sink into your heart.  Jesus is the reason and joy of this season of the year.  He is worthy to be praised!!  

Love love love

God continually teaches me about loving others.  I've been reflecting on love and what it really is alot this week.  Looking at 1 Corinthians 13, John 3:16, Hebrews 9 & 10, and 1 John has helped me understand God better.  (God IS love).

1 John 3:16, 17 "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.  But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."  

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he GAVE his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."   

1 John 2:4,5 "Whoever says, "I know him" but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him., but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected."

1 Corinthians 13  "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gone or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.   If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.  

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

These verses talk about what loving others should look like because they describe the way God acts toward us.  (By sacrificing His Son, Jesus the Christ.)  But they also explain that even if we give away everything and sacrifice everything without the purpose of love, it is nothing.  God gives love and is ever-enduring to us when we don't love Him.  If he were to just forgive us and give us things without love....well, that just isn't the way God is.  You can't separate "God" and "love" and all good things.  This has been interesting for me to look into because I see great need for growth in really loving others in my life.  1 John talks about love being perfected in us.   The more I fall in love with who God is, the more I think love is displayed in my life.  There are definitely things that come to mind when I hear the word love, but there are many ways I am seeing love displayed in my life that are new to me... Just like God's mercies being new every morning. We all learn new things every day through God's grace and mercy! 

Desire for God

Early this week, I started re-reading "Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot.  I first read it during my freshman year of college.  

There's a little snippet I want to share that really challenged and encouraged me and my thinking:

"What kind of God is it who asks everything of us?  The same God who, "...did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all; and with this gift how can he fail to lavish upon us all he has to give?

He gives all.

He asks all.

I wanted to be loved. Nothing unusual about that, nothing to separate my generation from any other...  

But I wanted something deeper.  Down among all the foolishness in my diary, thoughts like chaff which the wind of the Spirit can drive away, there was some wheat.  There was an honest-to-God longing for the "fixed heart" that the collect speaks of.  (Collect: Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise; that, among the swift and varied changes of the world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.)  A thousand questions cluttered my mind,...But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the course of our lives, is What do I really want??

Was it to love what God commands, in the words of the collect, and to desire what He promises?  Did I want what I wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?

Until the will and affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His Lordship.  The cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heart's truth.  My heart, I knew would be forever a lonely hunter unless settled "where true joys are to be found."

me: "Amen to that Liz!" 

Remembrances of the Lord's faithfulness

Last fall, I had this written on a sheet of paper hanging on the slanted ceiling above my bed:

"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."  

Psalm 94:19

I was in the middle of a trial when I came across this verse in the Psalms.  The cares of my heart were many and seemed overwhelming and too heavy for me to bear.  It was a lonely, frustrating, pushed-to-the-limit time in my life.  I kept thinking, "It's got to be better than this."  Many nites I would just try to imagine what my life would be like in a year.  I couldn't do it.  :)  I hoped beyond all hope that God would have me in a much better, easier, happier place in life.  

A year later, I still struggle with some of those same things, but it is DIFFERENT.  Last year, I didn't know the hope I already had in Jesus.  I could not see any hope beyond my present circumstances.  At the time, I had broken off an engagement and was left pretty lonely. During that relationship, my heart had grown proud and selfish and worshiped idols. As a result, I  pushed loved ones away.  I let myself be cut off from close girlfriends and sisters in Christ.  I was reaping the concequences of my sin.  I just prayed that God would provide friends for me.  Here I was in my last year of college, supposedly a happy time to celebrate the joys of finishing school and a unique time in life, and I didn't have many to celebrate with.  

It was all I could do to go to church on Sundays.  I loved to hear Pastor Flack preach Biblical truth to my heart, but going meant seeing someone that I had shared a close relationship with the past few years. I remember one Saturday nite looking at Psalms and seeing this verse: "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8  That verse got me through alot of Sat. nites and Sunday mornings.  

This year, there are still struggles.  Yes there are!  :)  But as I think about last fall, I see nothing but how God lead me gently by the hand through EACH and every day.  I see one of His great characteristics of Faithfulness.  How sweet it is that God chooses to take us through certain paths for very specific purposes.  Remembering last year could be a very bitter time, but instead, all I see today is how He is using it for me to cling to.  I cling to those memories because I'm seeing more and more how much God loves me.  He loved me so dearly then and loves me dearly today.  

A dearly treasured passage that Bev first showed me last summer is Isaiah 61.  This passage speaks nothing but HOPE for those who have made a MESS of their lives.  This passage speaks of the joy that God can restore to those who are completely broken.  It talks about God taking the ugly ashes and muck of someone's life, and transforming it into a beautiful headdress for them to wear!  A garment of praise instead of a faint spirit!  Repairing the ruined cities! He takes the prostitute and the druggie and transforms them into a SAINT!  God in His love, can change us and make us new.  God loves the repentant prostitute, druggie, theif, murderer, lier, gossiper!   

I have every reason to THANK God and to worship Him for working in my life.  He truly is a God WORTH living for today and for eternity!

The Lord's Faithless Bride

"Again the word of the Lord came to me: "Son of man, make know to Jerusalem her abominations, and say, Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: Your origin and your birth are of the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite.  And as for your birth, on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths.  No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born.  

And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, 'Live!'  I said to you in your blood, 'Live!'  I made you flourish like a plant of the field.  And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment.....I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became MINE.  Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and annointed you with oil.....You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty.  And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God.  

But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby....How lovesick is your heart, declares the Lord God, because you did all these things...

For thus says the Lord God; I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant.  Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and I will give them to you as daughters...I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you all that you have done, declares the Lord God."

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God is FAITHFUL when we are FAITHLESS!!!  We all need Him to be faithful to us when we turn to evil in our lives.  Not one can be faithful like He is.  Praise God!  I am so thankful for the many blessings He has showered upon me especially in my faithless times....:)  Sisters, parents, brothers, showing me truth from His Word, reminders of His STEADFASTNESS.  The pastor of TBC shared this on Sunday morning and it was description of me.  How many times have I given myself to things that are not honoring to God.  God is so great in His mercy to us.  He really is.  We choose these things over Him over and over again...all the while, He is a FATHER, pursuing us and waiting with open arms to renew a covenant of LOVE with us!!  Praise God!! Praise God!!  

Jesus

Do you really know Jesus?

I think I have wasted alot of my life as a Christian focusing on doing all the good and right things.  What I'm realizing lately is that I have not invested much quality time in reading my Bible and getting to know Jesus.  Jesus is KEY.  He really is.  I am the type of person who needs to read the story of Mary and Martha everyday.  :)  

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.  And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her then to help me."  But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but few things are necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.  

I want to make time with Jesus as Mary did. 

Thanksgiving update

Last nite I caved and bought a ticket to fly home for Thanksgiving.  :)  I had looked at tickets a few weeks ago, but decided I couldn't afford tickets for both this and Christmas.  Well, as I talked with my dad last nite, he kinda gave me a hint that he wasn't too excited for me to make the drive all in one weekend.  (He is very smart!)  :)  So, after a little persuasion, ( a little ) I was quickly looking up ticket prices online.  My flight goes out next Wednesday nite at 940pm and I will get into KC by 1130pm!  That really excites me that I will be home that same nite I get off work for the holiday!!   My return flight will be that following Monday afternoon.  I'd say that's a pretty good weekend!

Tonite was the last nite for my Wed. nite class, "Intro to Faith".  We had the opportunity to sign up for church membership and I went for it.  I'd been

 hesitant and going back and forth for a while now, mostly because of the question of length of time I will be here in Lafayette.  But, either way, I desire to be directly and actively involved in a church body locally while I am here.  So, I will be "voted in" or officially join as a member on Dec. 7th.  I am excited for it!

For those of you who are aware of the challenges I've encountered at work this past week and a half, I must say that God is at work and I see change!!  :)  Woo!! Praise YOU God for working and allowing me the honor of seeing your work!  It is amazing to me that even when I don't ask God to work in certain ways, and lack faith to pray for certain things, He chooses to work!  We as humans have the choice to change in many areas of life, but God in His grace chooses to have the Holy Spirit work in people's hearts in his own way.  One of my co-workers made a comment to me that she is realizing things abo

ut herself and seeing ways in which she can grow that she has never seen before.  Praise God that He allows us to see the condition of our hearts!  There is much work to be done in my heart...

Well, next Monday is the last week of counseling class.  I am in denial right now!  :(  I just can't picture my life without it now!!!!....just kiddding.  But seriously, that class was my main reason in coming here and I think Ill feel lost without it!  Maybe at least for a while.  God is the ONE who brought me here, and He has his purposes for me .  So I must rest in that.  I have learned quite a bit....so much that I would love to write about and expound on, but my responsiblities at work are just not allowing me the time to do that right now.  Soon I hope.  

For everything there is a season....

Poor Tanner had to wait a whole year to get another piece of turkey!  

Crave

The last few days, I have been "go go go!" and have not eaten the quantity of food I have been consuming recently.  Also, I have been eating nutritious foods - especially my fruits and veggies.  It is amazing how you can change your "cravings" or appetite by what you eat.  As I have been consuming these healthier foods, I haven't had much desire to eat fatty or sugary foods.  Ever since coming to Lafayette, I have gained some weight and have not eaten as healthy as I usually do (because I've always eaten healthy...;)  

As I thought about eating and how you can change your cravings by what you eat, it made me think about my time reading the Bible.  The more time I have spent reading God's Word, the more I tend to "crave" and desire to read it and learn more about it.  You can see it both ways I think. 

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!...The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."

Psalm 34

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

Matthew 5:6

Relaxing with a friend

Looking back on the past week, it would rank high up in "one of the most challenging weeks".  There were many challenges at work : reorganizing, regrouping, disciplining, confronting, loving, serving, creating, pursuing, running, etc.  I've been at my job now for about a month, and my co-ordinating teacher and I still have many areas in which we need to redevelop and change in our classroom.  The first thing to be dealt with is me. ( I often find it so entirely easy to point out the faults and weaknesses and negatives in the people and activities and systems around me, that I fail to "take the plank out of my own eye first!")  There was one day this week in which my co-ordinating teacher was gone and a number of events happened in result.  All those events were smashed together and caused an enormous title wave to come crashing down today.  

The events don't need to be recounted on the internet, because God has been faithful to teach me many a lesson through this...

So anyway, after a long week, I went out for dinner and walked the aisles of Barnes and Noble with a friend.  There's just something about walking the aisles of Barnes and Noble with a friend that soothes and relaxes.  ;)  We started out in the "Christian literature" section, picking up devotionals and reading snippets of wisdom from "July 21" and "November 14".   Next we meandered over to the music section and chit chatted about past time favorites.  By the time we waltzed out of the music, my muscles felt like jell-o and mashed potatoes.  God in His grace decided to bless me tonite with the company of a good friend to relax and sooth my anxious and stressed out heart.  I'd been worrying and stressing over many different methods and details in planning lessons for my class this week, failing often to acknowledge the power and greatness of God.  But, God was faithful to me everyday.  Tonite, He decided to remind me of who He is.  That's the kind of God I serve.  

He's got the whole world in His hands!

He's got the whole world in His hands

He's got the whole world in His hands

He's got the whole world in His hands, 

He's got the whole world in His hands!

I heard these old lyrics in a song tonite on the radio and was reminded of the many times I sang them growing up.  When I sang them as a little girl, I probably wasn't thinking about God's "sovereignty", or even how He works all things in this world for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose!  (Romans 8:28-29)

As a believer, I'm seeing the importance of that passage in my daily life.  I really need to believe the truth of that for me.  It is very challenging to break through doubts of His sovereignty in trial and suffering.  BUT, yet, it is the best place to be when you choose to.  Peace.  

p.s. to "Mercy"

Run to HIM!   The longer you wait, the longer you will not recieve peace and true love.  He is a God who steadfastly loves and gives.  EVERY day.  

"He who did not spare His own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him (Jesus) graciously give us all things?"  Romans 8:32

"If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities (sins), O Lord , who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared."  Psalm 130

Psalm 107

Psalm 78

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation."  Psalm 68:19

"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance"  2 Peter 3:9

Mercy

"Ah, stubborn children," declares the Lord, "who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin;"

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning (repentence) and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."  But you were unwilling, and you said "NO! We will flee upon horses"; therefore you shall flee away ;"

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exults himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him."

Isaiah 30:1, 15, 16, 18

It is an unfathomable thing sometimes to realize that the Lord still pursues me when I literally run from him.  When I sin, it is my first response to run from him and HIDE.  Just like Adam and Eve in the beginning of this earth.  They hid and feared what God would do to them when they would encounter Him.  They had no reason to believe that God was out to get them.  But that's what sin does.  It puts fear in us.  We should have a little fear, but that should be fear of the Lord because of His holiness.  We should

 fear Him in  a way that is in reverence.  Not a fear that He would hurt us like humans do. Humans intentionally hurt us sometimes because their motives and intentions of the heart are evil.  God's intentions are always to LOVE. 

But it is just amazing to me that God sought them out after they did exactly what he warned them not to do!!  He didn't just seek them out, but He showed them grace by not allowing them to live in that sin for the rest of their lives.  He didn't have to allow Eve to have children. He didn't even have to let Adam be able to work for his food!  After they realized they were naked, he didn't embarrass them and make them experience shame.  He clothed them.  :)

God pursues us especially in our most shameful, rebellious times.  That is the kind of God HE IS.  He is just as equally merciful and kind and loving as HE is wrathful and angry.  Kinda hard to understand, but it is true.  I am learning that that is true because of the MANY ways He has pursued me like that in my past.  Wow.  Do I have many. I can trust Him because of how He has never stopped pursuing me.  I cannot think of a time where He didn't.  

I've started thinking about these aspects through reading "Caught off Guard: Encounters with the Unexpected God" by William P. Smith.   

I am just so thankful for my family...Can't help but put a picture in this entry.  

These past few weeks

"Oh the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways!

For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?  For from him and through him and to him are all things.  To him be glory forever. Amen."

Romans 11:33-36

Over the last week, there have been many a time that I was inspired to write on my blog, but did not have much time.  Tonite however, I am tired and not really "feelin it", but I would like to put some kind of update on what's been going on for me lately. 

My job sure is keepin me on my toes! With new jobs, it always takes time to learn and get accustomed to the way things flow.  It has been fairly smooth for me so far.  The biggest challenges have been knowing how to discipline and change bad behavior.  The lead teacher I am with likes to give candy as a reward for good behavior.  The center actually prohibits the use of food to reward or discipline - but somehow it is "ok" for us to do it.  Hmm...any thoughts on that?  In my Biblical counseling class, we've been discussing what people have to do to really change.  We first notice a "problem/issue" in someone by their behavior- by the way they are responding to things in their life.  It makes alot of sense to want to change the behavior to fix the problem, but it often is not really fixed.  The Bible is full of truths about our hearts and that our hearts are where the real issues lie.  Mark 7 "This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men."  Verses 14-23 talks about how it is not the things that we eat or put in our bodies that defile us, but what comes out of us that defile us.  "For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.  All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."  

So maybe I'm seeing that I shouldn't be so concerned about their behavior, but start working on how they understand and think about things.  Just getting a child to do things the right way should not be my goal and focus.  As a Christian, I see that true change comes from the heart (their thinking, desires, etc).  I really desire to be an example of Jesus to these young, impressionable, vulnerable children.  But, we have to realize that these children are not just vulnerable to hurt and harm and influence from other people. They are vulnerable to their own heart's deceit!  Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"  We've been talking about parenting in class too, and looking at what God's Word says about children. "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."  Proverbs 22:15 

Children NEED discipline and instruction.  This is the side of working with children that I struggle with, so I really appreciate knowing what God's Word says about it. And that His ways of working with them are best. 

Another struggle with work for me has been teaching .  ;)  Ha!  That is what my job is, and yet, that's what I feel so inadequate at doing.  My experience with children before this job was as an assistant teacher, but with younger infants and toddlers.  And with smaller groups.  It is very challenging to try to get the attention of 20 3 yr. olds to give them instruction for activities.  I am quickly learning methods of song and such.

In the last month, I've been thinking through the idea of church membership - why do we need it? What is it supposed to look like? Is it Biblical?  How? Why do some churches stress it larger than others?  So, to help answer some of my questions, I decided to take the "Intro to Faith (Baptist)" class offered on Wed. nites.  It is for people interested in membership at Faith Baptist to have opportunities to ask questions and look at what the Bible says about "the Church".  This last week was the first of 4 sessions.  Pastor Steve Viars taught the first class.

On Friday at school, we celebrated Halloween by doing a parade with all the classes.  I dressed up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  :)  I fit in pretty well with all the other little princesses running around!  And they really were running around!  Sugar running out of their ears!  One precious child had it coming out of his mouth by the end of the day, but that's another story...! The Career class held a "Harvest Party" later that nite.  My top three choices for a costume: 1. Dorothy 2. Lee M. 3. Sarah Palin.   I somehow ended up as Belle again, but this time as a "Southern Belle".  

Congratulations Mom and Dad!!

I wanted to send a shout out to my parents today....29 years of marriage!!!!  :)  

Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom!!!  

I wish I could have been there today to wish that to you in person...I love you guys so much and I am so thankful for your example.  29 years is something to be proud of and is a blessing to me as your daughter.  God is truly good!  Cannot wait to see you at Thanksgiving!! 

God tastes so good!!!

"Oh , taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!  Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!  The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."   Psalm 34:8-10

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4

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Yesterday, I went shopping at the mall with my friend Dana.  We were just browsing, looking for sale items, enjoying ourselves, etc.  We went into the jewelry store, "Icings" to see if they were still holding their sale that I had come across a few weeks ago.  The sale had ended unfortunately.  We didn't really see much we liked so we started meandering out of the store.  As I was walking out, I had some very intense thoughts enter my mind about materialism in my life.  I suddenly became aware that what I was seeking that day was definitely not Jesus Christ or His glory. (Which I have every reason to be seeking!)  In the past, I have never really been one to get caught up in glamor and fashion world.  My family and close friends I've grown up with would probably tell you that I do not like to be showy or flashy with my wardrobe.  Not until the last few weeks or so have I started getting this itch to have more (clothes, jewelry, accessories that draw attention to me) when it comes to wardrobe.  

So it hit me that my desires were not for Jesus, but for things that do not produce lasting fullfillment.  I said to myself, "Renae, Jesus is worth so much more than these things! Why do you even want them?"  

To actually say no to my selfish desires like that was so wonderful!  It got me thinking about how few times do I actually put off selfish things and seek Jesus instead.  Then, the sermon this morning by Pastor Viars....The Discipline of Delight; The Foundation of our Discipline- Delighting in our Savior.  :)   

We looked at Psalm 34 and 37.  

3 Principles to help us develop a disciplined life for the right reason:

1. We choose the object of our delight.

"When principles or steps wander from Christ himself, they become self-serving guidelines.  They make our marriages, families, friendships, and work go better, but the goal is our own betterment more than the glory of God...! 'Be good' and 'Do right' are fine messages , but when they stand alone they have more in common with the Boy Scouts' Handbook than Scripture. Remember that in the Bible, 'This is who God is and what He has done' always precedes 'This is what you must do.'  Action follows our knowledge of God and trust in Him.  It is as if God has said to us, 'Now that you have seen who I am, you will want to love Me in return..." 

 - Edward T. Welch - Addictions: A banquet in the Grave p. 155

2. Delighting in God Begins in the Soul but it can never remain there

-v.1 and v.2

-It is personal, continual, and genuine.

"We approach the Bible with a 'where can I find a verse on ________' mentality. We forget that the only hope the principles offer rests on the Person, Jesus Christ...We cannot treat the Bible as a collection of therapeutic insights. To do so distorts its message and will not lead to lasting change.  If a system could give us what we need, Jesus would never have come...He is the only answer, so we must never offer a message that is less than the good news.  We don't offer people a system; we point them to a Redeemer."  - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, Paul David Tripp. p. 8,9

"Ephesians gives us no Reader's Digest of 'six principles for successful marital conversation' or 'four keys to getting your life organized.'  Such advice is often reasonably OK, though rather pale and powerless." Seeing with New Eyes, David Powlison. p. 43

3. Delighting in the Lord is a Firm foundation for spiritual growth and Vitality 

(This is the point that hit me the most!  I think I have grown the most when I actually make decisions to delight in Jesus and who He is and the gift of the cross, instead of worthless desires.)

-34:10 - Young lions - people who delight in falsehood (Psalm 62:4), scoffing (Proverbs 1:22), in doing evil (Proverbs 2:14), in sexual sin (Proverbs 7:18).  

-John Piper "Sin is what we do when we are not satisfied in God."

Righteousness that is built on a growing love for Christ will stand the test of time.   

(This is one of my favorite quotes right now!!!) :

"Holiness does not come merely by creating a list of moral taboos and then exerting our willpower to resist them.  'Just say no' alone doesn't work.  Of course, we must say 'No.' Please don't misunderstand me.  But lasting, meaningful victory will come only if there is something more enticing to which we can say 'Yes!'  ....We must swallow up the flicker of sin's pleasure in the forest fire of holy sanctification.  The only thing that will ultimately break the power of sin is passion for Jesus.  The only thing that will guard me from being entrapped by sin is being entranced by Jesus. In other word, the key to holiness is falling in love!!"  Pleasures Evermore, Sam Storms p. 31-32

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God was so gracious to give me a message like that this morning.  I guess I really needed it to remind me to be active in delighting in HIM!  

We can ALWAYS change...

"Change" - Bethany Dillon

My pockets are empty
Fear's such a thief
You know how that goes
I used to think
You couldn't love a mess like me
Then You came in so close

As my heart settles
You do the impossible

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Like a bullet in a wound
It needs to be removed
But only by You, only by You
And though I feel so stuck
The hope in Your eyes is enough

To change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Now that I see Your face
I'll never be the same

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

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James 2:1-5
My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, "You sit here in a good place," while you say to the poor man, "You should stand over there," or "Sit down at my feet," have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?"

Look Around!

Psalm 34:5

"Those who look to Him for help are radiant with joy."

I've been noticing this in my girlfriend's lives lately...

Those who are well have no need of a doctor

There are many things I am wanting to share about and discuss (topics of submission and church membership)  but I forgot my notebook in the car and it is raining. So I just want to share about something on my heart regarding mercy.  

God is a gracious and merciful God.  He is constant in His action of love and grace.  Tonite, my Father just filled my heart with mercy as I sat in on a new counseling case.  It is a family still recovering from a divorce...really hurting and broken.  Their child was sitting in between the ex-husband and wife struggling to explain her hurt and frustration with her new step parent.  She kept coming back to the fact that she didn't want them to get divorced in the first place, but she knows she can't change that.  Through tears and heartache, this teenage girl was explaining the challenge of not having as much time with her dad now that he is re-married.  As I sat there listening and taking notes, my heart just ached for all three of them.  For a while, I was just involved in their pain and empathizing with them, feeling a sense of hopelessness for them.  This poor girl just wants her parents to get back together, but obviously that is not possible right now.  So what is the answer to this girl's pain?  They can't just make it all better by getting married again.  

Well, I do not know the answers or what to really tell these people at this point (still gathering information).  But I did have a story that gives me encouragement about this case. 

"As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, "Follow me." And he rose and followed him.  And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples.  And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" But when he heard it, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

This family is hurting and struggling from a divorce.  (They said they attend a church in town).  Just the fact that they are seeking counsel for their daughter is awesome.  They realize they need help and guidance with their situation, and they came to recieve counsel that is Biblical.  This family is a pretty good-looking family.  They look like they are each individually blessed financially by their appearance.  They have good jobs and live a pretty normal American life-style.  On the outside, they don't look like they have alot of problems.  But, here they are in the counseling room, just gushing with issues.  After I left the session, I just thought about their willingness to get counsel.  Jesus said in Matthew that those who are well do not need a doctor. Jesus did not come to this earth because people here as so perfect.  He came because there are those who are sick with sin.  I know it was not easy for that family to enter the building and ask for help.  But they came anyway.  Just the humility they had.  They almost seemed to show more humility regarding their issues than many church people I grew up with...

We are so far from doing things perfectly in our lives...we all sin against a Holy God.  He demands holiness and perfection that we cannot give.  That's where Jesus comes in.  He was the image of God's love (and wrath) and grace, to fill our spot on that cross that had to be filled.  Someone had to die for all the sin in the world.  It was dear, sweet, King Jesus.  Jesus welcomes all who humble themselves to a relationship with him and God the Father, to live a full, abundant life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness.  Jesus and His example of mercy towards sinners is one that never fails to touch me. 

Beginnings of Fall

Some of these pics were taken at a party I went to called, "Feast of the Chili Spoon".  :)  Also, these were some pics I've taken around Lafayette.  God has blessed me with so many fun things to do and people to get to know here...I can't express in words the gratitude and joy God has given me in result of my time here.  I took a walk tonite to get some fresh air and take a break from reading for class.  If you've been outside recently for even a short period of time, you could probably relate with the same sense of refreshment the fall air gives.  As a Christian, I know that God has created this beautiful earth and everything in it.  It is quite invigorating to know the Holy Spirit who lives inside of me today, was the same Holy Spirit who was there before the earth was created...who helped create the different seasons.  What a creative God we serve.  

This is sweet cream pie, made by Jeff.  It is a-mazing.  ;)  If you need a reason to come visit me in Lafayette, this is one of them.  If you come and visit, you will recieve a huge piece of it!!  

To Submit or Not Submit?

Well, just returned from a long day of counseling and my brain and heart feel like they're gonna explode!! I need to just go to sleep, but there is no way Im going to be able to rest peacefully with all this "stuff" in my mind.   Probably the BEST thing to do about this is pray and talk with my Father about it.  But another thing to do that would help sort all these thoughts is to write it out.  

In class today, we covered topics about the role of a husband and a wife in marriage.  Some things that stuck out to me as far as the role of the wife include:

Submission - God has created men and women to submit to His authority in their live.  Someone has to make the decision for the couple, and God has placed that role upon the men.  Submission to the husband is a proof of the wife's love to God.  (John 14:16, 31). 

 -Submission starts when we do things we don't want to do. Being rebellious in the area of submission in marriage will make a wife "ugly". She is truly beautiful when submits - because she is doing what God commands (1 Peter 3:1-6).  

 -There is submission in the Trinity!  I had never thought about that.  God sent Jesus to the earth (He had to submit to His Father's authority), Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to believers (He had to submit to Jesus, but was still equal with Him).  Every part of the trinity is equal.  

 -Satan started the rebellion of submission against God.  He used to be an angel and then decided he wanted to do things out of God's authority.  

 -Sometimes a woman has a hard time submitting to her husband because he is a bad model of submission to his authority.  If he comes home going off about his boss and has a rebellious attitude against his authorities, then what makes a wife want to submit to him?  If he isn't submitting to them, then how will that affect his wife and children?  They might struggle with respecting him. 

-What does a wife do if her Christian husband is being a lover and learner, but not a leader?  Does she talk with him about it? Does she just pray and hope things change?  Does she encourage him, hoping he won't get upset?  

Helper-  Women were created to be helpers.  They were made to "fit" their husbands to help them.  To help lift their husband's load.  (Genesis 2:18).  Ephesians 5:22-25 talk alot about the roles.  Very clear.

Husbands- God has given you the role of 1. A Learner, 2. a Lover, and 3. A leader.  Ephesians 5:23-25

-A husband may be a leader in his home, but if he is not serving his family, than he would be considered a dictator.  Loving is giving.  (1 Corinthians 13, John 3:16, Galatians 2:20, Philippians 2:3-4.  )  

- Men are commanded to manage their homes.  They should be aware of everything going on in that house (Ephesians 5:23, 6:4)

There are so many things I am learning about the roles of a husband and a wife. The main thing is, that the roles were created in a way that both reflect Jesus and His love for us.  They reflect His relationship with those who choose to follow Him and know Him because they know they need Him.  

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1 Peter 1:3

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence...

Thanksgiving

Today, I talked to my boss and asked off a few days for Thanksgiving.  She went ahead and let me take them off. ;)  YAY!!!  Id also asked off for Christmas time, so I wasn't sure if I'd get both holiday times.  It'll be good to be home for at least a few days.  :)  

"Who let the dogs out!?"

Yesterday, as I was cleaning up from lunch, I hear a boy burst into song with, "Who let the dogs out?!"  (This is a song that came out a few years back that is just weird and funny all at the same time.) He's 3 and a half.  :)  hah!!  He sings with this little monotone voice.  He's just a very peculiar child.   He's always in his own little world.  When I speak to him, he doesn't ever seem to pay attention.  So anyway, that is the only line he knows, (good thing the song doesn't contain too many verses!) and he just repeats it over and over.  I can't stop laughing.  

Today at lunch, while we're eating these very yummy tuna sandwiches (I dislike tuna with a passion) with a side of pickle, I hear his little voice singing, "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it move it. "  (This is a song line from the cartoon movie "Madagascar".)  He repeats this over and over as well.  ;)   Wow.  So funny!!!!!

I am so thankful for this job.  It's just great.  I love this age group.  But, it has been a LONG week.  Im exhausted.  

L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G

It's been a while since I've posted...so sad!  There were so many things I've been wanting to share about and get discussion about from my readings from class, but so little time and energy.  This was my first official week in my assigned classroom, so it's been a whirlwind!  If you've ever worked with small children, you know how time flies because you are constantly busy, going from one activity to the next.  Not working for a month and a half because of transitioning and not finding work right away, it's really hard for me to start working an 8 hr. day with these little guys. By the way,  I really desire to let every word that comes out of my mouth be praise and glory to my God about this job because He has given me this job (thank you!!).  I do not want to whine about this job as if I do not want it or am not grateful for it.  There are definitely frustrations and God knows them, but just to communicate that to anyone else who reads this, I want that to be clear.  God has provided!! :)

Things from today that were just funny, weird, frustrating, cool, etc.:

- A boy from my class called me over to his cot during nap time with much urgency.  He was holding up his finger like it was hurt.  I rush over to tend to him, and he begins to show me something on his finger.  I reach down to pull off whatever it is, only to feel the ouey goeyness of what is a big, fat, booger from his nose.  Sick. (And he smiles real big of course at the horrified look on my face).

- Throughout the day, we use a positive behavior reinforcement system (PBRS) (my own label) sometimes called skittles.  They teachers before me have created a board that has everyone's name written on an apple. When a child is asked to follow directions repeatedly because of not behaving, their apple is flipped.  Well, if their apple is not flipped by around lunch time, they are rewarded for the good behavior with a single skittle.  There was a boy who would not follow instructions this morning, (regarding  a safety regulation) so his apple was flipped.  He had forgotten it was flipped, so when it came time to pass out skittles, and he didn't get one, he was pretty upset.  He didn't put on a show or anything, but just sat there, covering his eyes and cried.  He cried all the way through lunch.  I couldn't help but feel sad for him.  He wouldn't talk to me or look at me when I attempted conversation about it.  After lunch is nap. He laid down and was still quiet and feeling sad.  I was cleaning up lunch and thinking about him, and about consequences.  There are always consequences with our actions. He knew the rules from earlier, but chose not to follow.  This isn't exactly discipline, but this reminded me of the passage about how "the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom he recieves.  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ....For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yeilds the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

From that situation, I was reminded so sweetly of how our Father loves us so much (those who chose to believe in Him and repent of their sin) in that He chooses to teach us and discipline us. It is such a loving thing for Him to do.  It is who He is.  It would not be loving to not give discipline.  I really felt the urge to tell him (the boy) that I loved him and that we give them  these certain consequences because we do.  As the kids were getting sleepy on their cots, (all 21 of them!) I just walked around and told em I loved em.  I don't know how often they are told this, and I don't even know if I can say things like that to children at this center, but no one was going to stop me today!! :)    (I would definitely have a different "system" of discipline than using skittles, but ya know).  

- I grew in confidence today.  There were children who actually listened and paid attention to me today who normally don't listen to the lead teacher.  ha!  :)   I'm learning about tone of voice and how to be creative in having children follow instruction.  You don't have to yell at children for them to understand or listen to you.  I almost lost my voice yesterday trying to talk above them.  Today, I did project my voice but I got more creative.  

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Through my readings, I've recently been seeking understanding in church membership as well as church discipline.  Before I post stuff about the material and scripture I've studied, I want to know what others think about these pieces of the body of Jesus Christ.  

What does membership in a church look like? Why does membership exist in the church and when did people start following that system?  Is it Biblical?  How is it harmful?  How is it benefitial to growth and how does it glorify God?

Cry babies

Today at work, I witnessed many a situation that involved crying children.  This entry is not being written to put down children for being children, but only to enforce the fact that some of us take a long time to grow up.  

Today, I floated around to many different classrooms, filling in for whatever needed to be done, and covering for a teachers on break.  In every classroom I went in, I witnessed children screaming and crying and throwing little temper tantrums.  (It made for a long blessed day). :)  The reasons for these tantrums ranged from things like not getting to push their train on the track because someone's arm was blocking it to not getting to take home a "dress-up" hair band that needed to stay in the classroom.  When you're in the heat of the moment of these situations, you just have to make a creative solution or deliver the truth of what they need to hear and have them learn to deal with it.  After that moment has passed, you step back and just kinda laugh to yourself.  I really had to refrain from laughing at what these children think is the worst thing in the world.  ( I do have to be sensitive to the fact too that there could be a number of things contributing to their stress. Ex. A non-involved parent.)  

But all in all, I can relate to those little children, being that I act like one alot of the time.  When I don't get my way, I want to pinch people too!  I want to cry and wail my arms around and just let the world know that I am MAD.  I do that sometimes...but anyway, being around little ones reminds me of how God has been good to me, especially during times I act like a little child and think like a child, despite my age.  It also reminds me of areas I desire to grow in discipline.  We really have so much to be thankful for!!  Jesus!!  

Maybe I like working with children because I can relate so well....hmmmm.  ;)

Did you know that sex is supposed to be an act of worship?

In my counseling class on Monday we discussed the Biblical principles of Sex and Marriage.  Through my reading of scripture and my assigned readings, and through class lecture, I definitely had my eyes opened to sinful views I've held of these topics.  Wow. I'm so excited to learn the truth about how God created marriage and sex, that I want to share them on here.  And I desire for this to be a blessing for others to learn.

Principals of Sex based on the Bible, the Holy Word of God:

1. Sex in marriage is pure and holy.  

A. It was created by God before sin entered the picture.  

- God called it "very good' in Genesis 1:31

B. After sin and fall of man, God still called it good and honorable.

- Hebrews 13:4

C. Any other view is a sinful view. 

Ex. "Nice girls don't have sex. That's dirty."  Married couples deciding not to sleep together.

D. Sexual relations in marriage are just as holy as praying, reading the Bible, tithing, praying with someone, teaching a Sunday school class.

2. Sex is not the basis of marriage and marriage is not first and foremost a physical union.  

A. Jesus settled this issue with the woman at the well in John 4:16-18.

- The woman at the well was having sex with a man she was living who was not her husband.  She had a husband though.  But, having sex with the other man did not make her married to him.  It goes the other way as well.  Having sex with someone does not make you married to them.  Having sex with someone does not mean you have to marry them either.  

B. But sex is still important.  

- Not to participate wholeheartedly, aggressively and passionately is SIN.  

-Being passive in sex with your spouse is selfish and not serving.  

C. Sex is very important but not the most important part.

-Marriage is not based on sexual success.

-Unity in marriage is more than sex.

-A good marital relationship is the key to the most delightful sexual relationship. (No reason to feel guilt. Freeing.)

3. The primary goal of sex is giving, providing sexual satisfaction for spouse.  (DEFINITELY NOT TAUGHT IN OUR CULTURE, EVEN OUR CHURCHES).  It seems to be all about what you're not getting in sex. 

A. Taught by God in 1 Corinthians 7:2-4

-1 Corinthians 6:15-7:9 teaches about sex in marriage.

-This is a COMMAND by God, not an encouragement.

-The same command is given to BOTH wife and husband.

-Each is given the duty of keeping the other sexually satisfied.

B. Taught by definition of love- giving. (NOT giving to get).

-John 3:16 (For God so loved the world that He GAVE); Ephesians 5:25; 1 Corinthians 13

-Jesus said the greatest pleasure is giving (Acts 20:35)

C. This principle opposes:

- Pornography - (This is a childish view of sex)

-Masterbation - (Satisfying self NOT spouse). This turns into habits for alot of people.  It gets them into the habitual mindset of fantasies they create all for their satisfaction.  When people get married, they then have someone to control to get their desires met like in their fantasies.

-Homosexuality - all about self.  Initially having the motive to please their partner, but because homosexuality is opposing the way God created male and female, it is all about self and not about God.  God is definitely not on the throne.

D. The goal of sexual relations is satisfying your spouse.

-May or may not include climax.  (Husbands and wives should be on guard of their motives because they could be manipulating their spouse.)

E. Difficulties with this principle:

-Physical change needed for husband to function.

-Society teaches it occurs from anticipation of pleasure recieved from the change.

-Bible teaches it comes from anticipation of giving pleasure. (Never thought about that one!)

-We must relearn our understanding of this principle according to the way God planned it.

-"But that is not my nature!" - God's word should be your guide, not your nature.

-"How do I know what pleases my mate?" - COMMUNICATION.  Make a list of what pleases you and give it to your spouse.  But as soon as you give it to them, you are giving up any expectation of recieving anything on that list.  You then make it your goal to please your spouse.

4. God has created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other - 1 Corinthians 7:4.

-Because God is a Sovereign God, He would not give you the wrong spouse.  That spouse was given to you by God, and once you commit to enter into a Holy covenant with them into marriage, you are One.

A. God gave the same principle to each.

B. Each one is to use the body to satisfy his spouse, not himself.  (Christ never served himself).

C. God gave each the same command, then each must have the same or equal ability to obey.

D. This means that both hus. and wife are to be aggressive in sexual relationships. 

E.  Difficulties with this principle:

   - "We have different levels of desire" - Having diff. levels of desire are learned behaviors.

   - "But what if it's not learned, but the way we were made?" - The guideline here is not level of desire, but God's word.

   - "Oversexed" or "undersexed" - both say God made a mistake. The problem is not how you are made, but your willingness to obey God in serving them.

5. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged. - Proverbs 5:18-19

A. Delight in the person - not just in their sexual parts

 -That passage refers to the wife too, - either mate

 - It's a picture of pleasantness of your spouse.

 - Your BEST friend.

 - Desire for her companionship as a person, more than a sexual partner.

B. Delight in the sexual relationship.

- "breasts" signifies sex.

- the word "wife" used in the passage, teaches that real sexual delight can be found only in marriage.

- "Satisfy" - thirst quenched, completely satisfied.

-"ravished"- intoxicated, overwhelmed with satisfaction.

-When put with 1 Cor. 7:3,4, each to completely satisfy the other - should be a delightful task.

6. Sexual relations are to be continuous.  - 1 Corinthians 7:5

A. Deprive or defraud means to withhold through deceit or dishonesty.

- withholding sex from each other for selfish, dishonest reasons.

B. When there is abstinence it is by mutual consent.

C. 4 Biblical guidelines for refraining (in this passage)

D. How Often should a husband and wife have sex?

 - Enough to keep each other satisfied 

 - Enough to avoid temptation!!

Resource options: Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C. J. Mahaney

Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat

Biblical Principles of Sex by Bob Smith

 

Ill share more later about the Biblical principles of Marriage.  That took a long time to type! 

God never fails

There's been several things that have gone on in the last few days that have made an impact on me.  

-Watching the movie "Fireproof"

-Got offered not one, but TWO jobs ( I accepted the higher paying one)

-God is showering me with His grace after sinning against Him

-The K's son had a friend that was killed in a car accident this afternoon

Being short on sleep time tonite, I can't really explain all these in detail right now.  Also, I would love to share about all the cool truths I learned about the Holy Spirit through my readings this weekend but Ill save that for later.  

I do want to share the passage that has brought HOPE to me this weekend :

Ephesians 2:1-10 

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you one walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.  But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in KINDNESS toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

"Him we proclaim..."

I have been blessed to be able to go to a gals study group from the Career class, that studies the letter of Paul, an apostle of Jesus, written to the Colossians.  We are doing a study of the letter through a Synthetic Method.  Basically a synthetic study helps us see the purpose and plan of the book (letter).  The author had information or subject matter he wanted to communicate to his readers.  The synthetic method helps discover that message through means of repeated readings of the letter, ignoring details and concentrating on the interpretation of the book as a whole, each reading focusing on different aspects of the content, finding themes, getting the big picture.  

I've found that as I have been reading the entire book several times in one sitting, I am growing in my love for God and His Word in general.  It is awesome!  :)  Colossians is not just another book in the Bible.  It was written by a man named Paul.  It was a letter written to the people of Colossai to warn and admonish them of false prophecy being taught there.  The leader of the study typed up the book of Colossians in letter form (without the chapters and verses) to give us a better picture of what the letter really looked like when it was written.  Just reading the letter over and over on my sheets of paper is making the WORD come alive to me!!  This is awesome because: "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. "  This letter written in 60 A.D. was not just written for the Colossians, but for me today in 2008!  Why would God's Word lie and contradict himself when he says it is living in Hebrews 4:12, just as "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God." (John 1:1)??  And, "All Scripture is breathed out BY God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16).  

Here is Paul's letter written to the people of Colossai, and to you and me:

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  And he is the head of the body, the church.  He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent (superior or above all others). For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a servant. 

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of the body, which is the church. {www.soniclight.org gave me some insight into what this sentence might mean: This "regards the afflictions of Christ as Christ's actual sufferings now, not on the cross but in and through Paul whom He indwelt (2 Cor. 11:23-28). When believers suffer, Christ also suffers because He indwells us (Acts 9:4).  "It is no wonder, then, that Paul rejoiced in his sufferings. Seen in the light of his union with Christ, they were transfigured and made an occasion for fellowship with Him, as well as a benefit to the body, the church."} I have become it's servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the Word of God in its fullness- the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints (Christians).  To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.  

Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

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I'm so thankful for God using our brother Paul to communicate this important message!  This is so helpful for me in many many ways.  Also, just picturing the sweat Paul must have worked up while writing this, gets my blood pumping.  He was a SERVANT.  He gave all he had for the gospel of Jesus!  He presented God's Word to the people.  What a privilege to be part of God's plan for the entire human race.  God used this Word for all the peoples of the earth to read and hear for HOPE and for Glory.  We can have assurance that the books of the Bible are written by God especially when in the book of John chapter 14:23-26, Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.  Whoever does not love me does not keep my words.  And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father's who sent me.  These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all these things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. "  Through reading God's Word, we can have hope in this dark world.  These were real words that came out of Jesus mouth!!  I want to learn more about Paul and how he lived his life for the sake of Jesus.  But more importantly, I want to learn more about Jesus, the image of God in flesh, who came here to live among us and show us that we can be reconciled to the Holy One.  

i like giving titles to my entries

This past weekend I totally flopped on getting my reading done for my class.  I mentioned in my last entry about my lack of discipline...that was one of the major areas that I was refering too.  Today I worked hard on my time management and made a tiny amount of progress in that.   I feel so good about that.  It is rewarding to be disciplined. And to be productive.  Or at least feel that way.  

I had the interview today with the child care job...went well.  I am waiting to hear back in the next few days.  I could be working 8-5pm Tues. through Friday. (I could pay off my loans alot quicker that way!)  God will either provide it or not.  Waiting on Him for this one.  

The class was so intense yesterday. With the lectures and observing the counseling sessions. Pastor Viars taught a section about the Doctrine of Spiritual Growth.  He's really got a passion.  He really loves God and His Word and the application of the Bible in people's lives.  He covered alot of different topics, but there were a few that got me.  He talked about Ephesians 4:11-16 : the GOAL of the church.  This whole passage speaks on GROWTH.  Not just a church growing, but personal growth.  "...so that we may no longer be children..."  "...we are to grow up in every way into him who is the Head, into Christ," "when each part is working properly , makes the body grow so that is builds itself up in love."  Pastor V. shared that every year, he and the church elders/staff go down the list of EVERY member in the church, and they make sure they know where that person (or familiy) is at spiritually.  They take God's word so seriously that if they DON'T know where/how that family is doing (if there's any sinful struggles) then they schedule a time to meet up with them.  If a family is not handling sin properly in a Biblical God-honoring way, then the church intervenes and encourages counseling, or if the fam decides not to deal with it, then there will be some church discipline. They take their role as leaders in the church seriously and esp. God's word seriously.  Faith Baptist is at about 1800 members right now. 

My point is not to share about the means of action that are taken if a family is not obeying the Lord and growing.  But I just wanted to share about the fact that God is serious about growth as believers.  Wow.  Through the scripture we looked at while talking about this, I woke up a little bit, if ya know what I mean.  We talked about Jesus.  He grew.  Luke 2:52  Romans 8:28, 29 (to be more Christ-like).  2 Peter 3:18.  It's scary to think about a person (myself included) struggling with the same sin issues for years.  Most believers don't even acknowledge the sin they struggle with.  

Something that discourages alot of believers (in my own struggle and observation), is that they don't see the change they'd like in their lives.  When I struggle with a sinful issue, over and over, it is discouraging.  It's hard to see yourself fail again and again. But, I have to realize that I am growing, even if it's not straight up.  A popular phrase I've heard up here, is "Progressive Sanctification".  We first believe Jesus as Savior and Lord and and confess our sin and ask for forgiveness.  We are then justified.  No sooner than we finish a prayer and we sin again.  We confess and repent and ask forgiveness.  We go through the day.  5 minutes later, we realize we've sinned again.  We confess, repent and ask forgiveness.  I feel as though I go back to square one every time.  Like I can't make any gain or real change.  Well, I have to start believing and understanding scripture when it talks about growth. ( Paul was a God worshipper. He was a stud, but even he didn't "arrive".  "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own." (Philippians 3:13)).  

I am only growing more like Christ if I deal with my sin in a Biblical God honoring way.  Confession, repentance, and then "put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness".   Ephesians 4:20-24.  I have to realize what sin I am committing and then start thinking and acting like Christ.  Tonite, I was jealous of something.  Instead of being jealous like the old Renae before Christ, I should be practicing rejoicing with other's sucesses and be thankful. 

We wouldn't be commanded to grow if we were already complete and perfect, would we?