Remembrances of the Lord's faithfulness

Last fall, I had this written on a sheet of paper hanging on the slanted ceiling above my bed:

"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."  

Psalm 94:19

I was in the middle of a trial when I came across this verse in the Psalms.  The cares of my heart were many and seemed overwhelming and too heavy for me to bear.  It was a lonely, frustrating, pushed-to-the-limit time in my life.  I kept thinking, "It's got to be better than this."  Many nites I would just try to imagine what my life would be like in a year.  I couldn't do it.  :)  I hoped beyond all hope that God would have me in a much better, easier, happier place in life.  

A year later, I still struggle with some of those same things, but it is DIFFERENT.  Last year, I didn't know the hope I already had in Jesus.  I could not see any hope beyond my present circumstances.  At the time, I had broken off an engagement and was left pretty lonely. During that relationship, my heart had grown proud and selfish and worshiped idols. As a result, I  pushed loved ones away.  I let myself be cut off from close girlfriends and sisters in Christ.  I was reaping the concequences of my sin.  I just prayed that God would provide friends for me.  Here I was in my last year of college, supposedly a happy time to celebrate the joys of finishing school and a unique time in life, and I didn't have many to celebrate with.  

It was all I could do to go to church on Sundays.  I loved to hear Pastor Flack preach Biblical truth to my heart, but going meant seeing someone that I had shared a close relationship with the past few years. I remember one Saturday nite looking at Psalms and seeing this verse: "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8  That verse got me through alot of Sat. nites and Sunday mornings.  

This year, there are still struggles.  Yes there are!  :)  But as I think about last fall, I see nothing but how God lead me gently by the hand through EACH and every day.  I see one of His great characteristics of Faithfulness.  How sweet it is that God chooses to take us through certain paths for very specific purposes.  Remembering last year could be a very bitter time, but instead, all I see today is how He is using it for me to cling to.  I cling to those memories because I'm seeing more and more how much God loves me.  He loved me so dearly then and loves me dearly today.  

A dearly treasured passage that Bev first showed me last summer is Isaiah 61.  This passage speaks nothing but HOPE for those who have made a MESS of their lives.  This passage speaks of the joy that God can restore to those who are completely broken.  It talks about God taking the ugly ashes and muck of someone's life, and transforming it into a beautiful headdress for them to wear!  A garment of praise instead of a faint spirit!  Repairing the ruined cities! He takes the prostitute and the druggie and transforms them into a SAINT!  God in His love, can change us and make us new.  God loves the repentant prostitute, druggie, theif, murderer, lier, gossiper!   

I have every reason to THANK God and to worship Him for working in my life.  He truly is a God WORTH living for today and for eternity!