Congratulations Mom and Dad!!

I wanted to send a shout out to my parents today....29 years of marriage!!!!  :)  

Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom!!!  

I wish I could have been there today to wish that to you in person...I love you guys so much and I am so thankful for your example.  29 years is something to be proud of and is a blessing to me as your daughter.  God is truly good!  Cannot wait to see you at Thanksgiving!! 

God tastes so good!!!

"Oh , taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!  Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!  The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."   Psalm 34:8-10

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4

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Yesterday, I went shopping at the mall with my friend Dana.  We were just browsing, looking for sale items, enjoying ourselves, etc.  We went into the jewelry store, "Icings" to see if they were still holding their sale that I had come across a few weeks ago.  The sale had ended unfortunately.  We didn't really see much we liked so we started meandering out of the store.  As I was walking out, I had some very intense thoughts enter my mind about materialism in my life.  I suddenly became aware that what I was seeking that day was definitely not Jesus Christ or His glory. (Which I have every reason to be seeking!)  In the past, I have never really been one to get caught up in glamor and fashion world.  My family and close friends I've grown up with would probably tell you that I do not like to be showy or flashy with my wardrobe.  Not until the last few weeks or so have I started getting this itch to have more (clothes, jewelry, accessories that draw attention to me) when it comes to wardrobe.  

So it hit me that my desires were not for Jesus, but for things that do not produce lasting fullfillment.  I said to myself, "Renae, Jesus is worth so much more than these things! Why do you even want them?"  

To actually say no to my selfish desires like that was so wonderful!  It got me thinking about how few times do I actually put off selfish things and seek Jesus instead.  Then, the sermon this morning by Pastor Viars....The Discipline of Delight; The Foundation of our Discipline- Delighting in our Savior.  :)   

We looked at Psalm 34 and 37.  

3 Principles to help us develop a disciplined life for the right reason:

1. We choose the object of our delight.

"When principles or steps wander from Christ himself, they become self-serving guidelines.  They make our marriages, families, friendships, and work go better, but the goal is our own betterment more than the glory of God...! 'Be good' and 'Do right' are fine messages , but when they stand alone they have more in common with the Boy Scouts' Handbook than Scripture. Remember that in the Bible, 'This is who God is and what He has done' always precedes 'This is what you must do.'  Action follows our knowledge of God and trust in Him.  It is as if God has said to us, 'Now that you have seen who I am, you will want to love Me in return..." 

 - Edward T. Welch - Addictions: A banquet in the Grave p. 155

2. Delighting in God Begins in the Soul but it can never remain there

-v.1 and v.2

-It is personal, continual, and genuine.

"We approach the Bible with a 'where can I find a verse on ________' mentality. We forget that the only hope the principles offer rests on the Person, Jesus Christ...We cannot treat the Bible as a collection of therapeutic insights. To do so distorts its message and will not lead to lasting change.  If a system could give us what we need, Jesus would never have come...He is the only answer, so we must never offer a message that is less than the good news.  We don't offer people a system; we point them to a Redeemer."  - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, Paul David Tripp. p. 8,9

"Ephesians gives us no Reader's Digest of 'six principles for successful marital conversation' or 'four keys to getting your life organized.'  Such advice is often reasonably OK, though rather pale and powerless." Seeing with New Eyes, David Powlison. p. 43

3. Delighting in the Lord is a Firm foundation for spiritual growth and Vitality 

(This is the point that hit me the most!  I think I have grown the most when I actually make decisions to delight in Jesus and who He is and the gift of the cross, instead of worthless desires.)

-34:10 - Young lions - people who delight in falsehood (Psalm 62:4), scoffing (Proverbs 1:22), in doing evil (Proverbs 2:14), in sexual sin (Proverbs 7:18).  

-John Piper "Sin is what we do when we are not satisfied in God."

Righteousness that is built on a growing love for Christ will stand the test of time.   

(This is one of my favorite quotes right now!!!) :

"Holiness does not come merely by creating a list of moral taboos and then exerting our willpower to resist them.  'Just say no' alone doesn't work.  Of course, we must say 'No.' Please don't misunderstand me.  But lasting, meaningful victory will come only if there is something more enticing to which we can say 'Yes!'  ....We must swallow up the flicker of sin's pleasure in the forest fire of holy sanctification.  The only thing that will ultimately break the power of sin is passion for Jesus.  The only thing that will guard me from being entrapped by sin is being entranced by Jesus. In other word, the key to holiness is falling in love!!"  Pleasures Evermore, Sam Storms p. 31-32

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God was so gracious to give me a message like that this morning.  I guess I really needed it to remind me to be active in delighting in HIM!  

We can ALWAYS change...

"Change" - Bethany Dillon

My pockets are empty
Fear's such a thief
You know how that goes
I used to think
You couldn't love a mess like me
Then You came in so close

As my heart settles
You do the impossible

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Like a bullet in a wound
It needs to be removed
But only by You, only by You
And though I feel so stuck
The hope in Your eyes is enough

To change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Now that I see Your face
I'll never be the same

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

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James 2:1-5
My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, "You sit here in a good place," while you say to the poor man, "You should stand over there," or "Sit down at my feet," have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?"

Look Around!

Psalm 34:5

"Those who look to Him for help are radiant with joy."

I've been noticing this in my girlfriend's lives lately...

Those who are well have no need of a doctor

There are many things I am wanting to share about and discuss (topics of submission and church membership)  but I forgot my notebook in the car and it is raining. So I just want to share about something on my heart regarding mercy.  

God is a gracious and merciful God.  He is constant in His action of love and grace.  Tonite, my Father just filled my heart with mercy as I sat in on a new counseling case.  It is a family still recovering from a divorce...really hurting and broken.  Their child was sitting in between the ex-husband and wife struggling to explain her hurt and frustration with her new step parent.  She kept coming back to the fact that she didn't want them to get divorced in the first place, but she knows she can't change that.  Through tears and heartache, this teenage girl was explaining the challenge of not having as much time with her dad now that he is re-married.  As I sat there listening and taking notes, my heart just ached for all three of them.  For a while, I was just involved in their pain and empathizing with them, feeling a sense of hopelessness for them.  This poor girl just wants her parents to get back together, but obviously that is not possible right now.  So what is the answer to this girl's pain?  They can't just make it all better by getting married again.  

Well, I do not know the answers or what to really tell these people at this point (still gathering information).  But I did have a story that gives me encouragement about this case. 

"As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, "Follow me." And he rose and followed him.  And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples.  And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" But when he heard it, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

This family is hurting and struggling from a divorce.  (They said they attend a church in town).  Just the fact that they are seeking counsel for their daughter is awesome.  They realize they need help and guidance with their situation, and they came to recieve counsel that is Biblical.  This family is a pretty good-looking family.  They look like they are each individually blessed financially by their appearance.  They have good jobs and live a pretty normal American life-style.  On the outside, they don't look like they have alot of problems.  But, here they are in the counseling room, just gushing with issues.  After I left the session, I just thought about their willingness to get counsel.  Jesus said in Matthew that those who are well do not need a doctor. Jesus did not come to this earth because people here as so perfect.  He came because there are those who are sick with sin.  I know it was not easy for that family to enter the building and ask for help.  But they came anyway.  Just the humility they had.  They almost seemed to show more humility regarding their issues than many church people I grew up with...

We are so far from doing things perfectly in our lives...we all sin against a Holy God.  He demands holiness and perfection that we cannot give.  That's where Jesus comes in.  He was the image of God's love (and wrath) and grace, to fill our spot on that cross that had to be filled.  Someone had to die for all the sin in the world.  It was dear, sweet, King Jesus.  Jesus welcomes all who humble themselves to a relationship with him and God the Father, to live a full, abundant life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness.  Jesus and His example of mercy towards sinners is one that never fails to touch me. 

Beginnings of Fall

Some of these pics were taken at a party I went to called, "Feast of the Chili Spoon".  :)  Also, these were some pics I've taken around Lafayette.  God has blessed me with so many fun things to do and people to get to know here...I can't express in words the gratitude and joy God has given me in result of my time here.  I took a walk tonite to get some fresh air and take a break from reading for class.  If you've been outside recently for even a short period of time, you could probably relate with the same sense of refreshment the fall air gives.  As a Christian, I know that God has created this beautiful earth and everything in it.  It is quite invigorating to know the Holy Spirit who lives inside of me today, was the same Holy Spirit who was there before the earth was created...who helped create the different seasons.  What a creative God we serve.  

This is sweet cream pie, made by Jeff.  It is a-mazing.  ;)  If you need a reason to come visit me in Lafayette, this is one of them.  If you come and visit, you will recieve a huge piece of it!!  

To Submit or Not Submit?

Well, just returned from a long day of counseling and my brain and heart feel like they're gonna explode!! I need to just go to sleep, but there is no way Im going to be able to rest peacefully with all this "stuff" in my mind.   Probably the BEST thing to do about this is pray and talk with my Father about it.  But another thing to do that would help sort all these thoughts is to write it out.  

In class today, we covered topics about the role of a husband and a wife in marriage.  Some things that stuck out to me as far as the role of the wife include:

Submission - God has created men and women to submit to His authority in their live.  Someone has to make the decision for the couple, and God has placed that role upon the men.  Submission to the husband is a proof of the wife's love to God.  (John 14:16, 31). 

 -Submission starts when we do things we don't want to do. Being rebellious in the area of submission in marriage will make a wife "ugly". She is truly beautiful when submits - because she is doing what God commands (1 Peter 3:1-6).  

 -There is submission in the Trinity!  I had never thought about that.  God sent Jesus to the earth (He had to submit to His Father's authority), Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to believers (He had to submit to Jesus, but was still equal with Him).  Every part of the trinity is equal.  

 -Satan started the rebellion of submission against God.  He used to be an angel and then decided he wanted to do things out of God's authority.  

 -Sometimes a woman has a hard time submitting to her husband because he is a bad model of submission to his authority.  If he comes home going off about his boss and has a rebellious attitude against his authorities, then what makes a wife want to submit to him?  If he isn't submitting to them, then how will that affect his wife and children?  They might struggle with respecting him. 

-What does a wife do if her Christian husband is being a lover and learner, but not a leader?  Does she talk with him about it? Does she just pray and hope things change?  Does she encourage him, hoping he won't get upset?  

Helper-  Women were created to be helpers.  They were made to "fit" their husbands to help them.  To help lift their husband's load.  (Genesis 2:18).  Ephesians 5:22-25 talk alot about the roles.  Very clear.

Husbands- God has given you the role of 1. A Learner, 2. a Lover, and 3. A leader.  Ephesians 5:23-25

-A husband may be a leader in his home, but if he is not serving his family, than he would be considered a dictator.  Loving is giving.  (1 Corinthians 13, John 3:16, Galatians 2:20, Philippians 2:3-4.  )  

- Men are commanded to manage their homes.  They should be aware of everything going on in that house (Ephesians 5:23, 6:4)

There are so many things I am learning about the roles of a husband and a wife. The main thing is, that the roles were created in a way that both reflect Jesus and His love for us.  They reflect His relationship with those who choose to follow Him and know Him because they know they need Him.  

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1 Peter 1:3

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence...

Thanksgiving

Today, I talked to my boss and asked off a few days for Thanksgiving.  She went ahead and let me take them off. ;)  YAY!!!  Id also asked off for Christmas time, so I wasn't sure if I'd get both holiday times.  It'll be good to be home for at least a few days.  :)  

"Who let the dogs out!?"

Yesterday, as I was cleaning up from lunch, I hear a boy burst into song with, "Who let the dogs out?!"  (This is a song that came out a few years back that is just weird and funny all at the same time.) He's 3 and a half.  :)  hah!!  He sings with this little monotone voice.  He's just a very peculiar child.   He's always in his own little world.  When I speak to him, he doesn't ever seem to pay attention.  So anyway, that is the only line he knows, (good thing the song doesn't contain too many verses!) and he just repeats it over and over.  I can't stop laughing.  

Today at lunch, while we're eating these very yummy tuna sandwiches (I dislike tuna with a passion) with a side of pickle, I hear his little voice singing, "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it move it. "  (This is a song line from the cartoon movie "Madagascar".)  He repeats this over and over as well.  ;)   Wow.  So funny!!!!!

I am so thankful for this job.  It's just great.  I love this age group.  But, it has been a LONG week.  Im exhausted.  

L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G

It's been a while since I've posted...so sad!  There were so many things I've been wanting to share about and get discussion about from my readings from class, but so little time and energy.  This was my first official week in my assigned classroom, so it's been a whirlwind!  If you've ever worked with small children, you know how time flies because you are constantly busy, going from one activity to the next.  Not working for a month and a half because of transitioning and not finding work right away, it's really hard for me to start working an 8 hr. day with these little guys. By the way,  I really desire to let every word that comes out of my mouth be praise and glory to my God about this job because He has given me this job (thank you!!).  I do not want to whine about this job as if I do not want it or am not grateful for it.  There are definitely frustrations and God knows them, but just to communicate that to anyone else who reads this, I want that to be clear.  God has provided!! :)

Things from today that were just funny, weird, frustrating, cool, etc.:

- A boy from my class called me over to his cot during nap time with much urgency.  He was holding up his finger like it was hurt.  I rush over to tend to him, and he begins to show me something on his finger.  I reach down to pull off whatever it is, only to feel the ouey goeyness of what is a big, fat, booger from his nose.  Sick. (And he smiles real big of course at the horrified look on my face).

- Throughout the day, we use a positive behavior reinforcement system (PBRS) (my own label) sometimes called skittles.  They teachers before me have created a board that has everyone's name written on an apple. When a child is asked to follow directions repeatedly because of not behaving, their apple is flipped.  Well, if their apple is not flipped by around lunch time, they are rewarded for the good behavior with a single skittle.  There was a boy who would not follow instructions this morning, (regarding  a safety regulation) so his apple was flipped.  He had forgotten it was flipped, so when it came time to pass out skittles, and he didn't get one, he was pretty upset.  He didn't put on a show or anything, but just sat there, covering his eyes and cried.  He cried all the way through lunch.  I couldn't help but feel sad for him.  He wouldn't talk to me or look at me when I attempted conversation about it.  After lunch is nap. He laid down and was still quiet and feeling sad.  I was cleaning up lunch and thinking about him, and about consequences.  There are always consequences with our actions. He knew the rules from earlier, but chose not to follow.  This isn't exactly discipline, but this reminded me of the passage about how "the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom he recieves.  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ....For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yeilds the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

From that situation, I was reminded so sweetly of how our Father loves us so much (those who chose to believe in Him and repent of their sin) in that He chooses to teach us and discipline us. It is such a loving thing for Him to do.  It is who He is.  It would not be loving to not give discipline.  I really felt the urge to tell him (the boy) that I loved him and that we give them  these certain consequences because we do.  As the kids were getting sleepy on their cots, (all 21 of them!) I just walked around and told em I loved em.  I don't know how often they are told this, and I don't even know if I can say things like that to children at this center, but no one was going to stop me today!! :)    (I would definitely have a different "system" of discipline than using skittles, but ya know).  

- I grew in confidence today.  There were children who actually listened and paid attention to me today who normally don't listen to the lead teacher.  ha!  :)   I'm learning about tone of voice and how to be creative in having children follow instruction.  You don't have to yell at children for them to understand or listen to you.  I almost lost my voice yesterday trying to talk above them.  Today, I did project my voice but I got more creative.  

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Through my readings, I've recently been seeking understanding in church membership as well as church discipline.  Before I post stuff about the material and scripture I've studied, I want to know what others think about these pieces of the body of Jesus Christ.  

What does membership in a church look like? Why does membership exist in the church and when did people start following that system?  Is it Biblical?  How is it harmful?  How is it benefitial to growth and how does it glorify God?

Cry babies

Today at work, I witnessed many a situation that involved crying children.  This entry is not being written to put down children for being children, but only to enforce the fact that some of us take a long time to grow up.  

Today, I floated around to many different classrooms, filling in for whatever needed to be done, and covering for a teachers on break.  In every classroom I went in, I witnessed children screaming and crying and throwing little temper tantrums.  (It made for a long blessed day). :)  The reasons for these tantrums ranged from things like not getting to push their train on the track because someone's arm was blocking it to not getting to take home a "dress-up" hair band that needed to stay in the classroom.  When you're in the heat of the moment of these situations, you just have to make a creative solution or deliver the truth of what they need to hear and have them learn to deal with it.  After that moment has passed, you step back and just kinda laugh to yourself.  I really had to refrain from laughing at what these children think is the worst thing in the world.  ( I do have to be sensitive to the fact too that there could be a number of things contributing to their stress. Ex. A non-involved parent.)  

But all in all, I can relate to those little children, being that I act like one alot of the time.  When I don't get my way, I want to pinch people too!  I want to cry and wail my arms around and just let the world know that I am MAD.  I do that sometimes...but anyway, being around little ones reminds me of how God has been good to me, especially during times I act like a little child and think like a child, despite my age.  It also reminds me of areas I desire to grow in discipline.  We really have so much to be thankful for!!  Jesus!!  

Maybe I like working with children because I can relate so well....hmmmm.  ;)

Did you know that sex is supposed to be an act of worship?

In my counseling class on Monday we discussed the Biblical principles of Sex and Marriage.  Through my reading of scripture and my assigned readings, and through class lecture, I definitely had my eyes opened to sinful views I've held of these topics.  Wow. I'm so excited to learn the truth about how God created marriage and sex, that I want to share them on here.  And I desire for this to be a blessing for others to learn.

Principals of Sex based on the Bible, the Holy Word of God:

1. Sex in marriage is pure and holy.  

A. It was created by God before sin entered the picture.  

- God called it "very good' in Genesis 1:31

B. After sin and fall of man, God still called it good and honorable.

- Hebrews 13:4

C. Any other view is a sinful view. 

Ex. "Nice girls don't have sex. That's dirty."  Married couples deciding not to sleep together.

D. Sexual relations in marriage are just as holy as praying, reading the Bible, tithing, praying with someone, teaching a Sunday school class.

2. Sex is not the basis of marriage and marriage is not first and foremost a physical union.  

A. Jesus settled this issue with the woman at the well in John 4:16-18.

- The woman at the well was having sex with a man she was living who was not her husband.  She had a husband though.  But, having sex with the other man did not make her married to him.  It goes the other way as well.  Having sex with someone does not make you married to them.  Having sex with someone does not mean you have to marry them either.  

B. But sex is still important.  

- Not to participate wholeheartedly, aggressively and passionately is SIN.  

-Being passive in sex with your spouse is selfish and not serving.  

C. Sex is very important but not the most important part.

-Marriage is not based on sexual success.

-Unity in marriage is more than sex.

-A good marital relationship is the key to the most delightful sexual relationship. (No reason to feel guilt. Freeing.)

3. The primary goal of sex is giving, providing sexual satisfaction for spouse.  (DEFINITELY NOT TAUGHT IN OUR CULTURE, EVEN OUR CHURCHES).  It seems to be all about what you're not getting in sex. 

A. Taught by God in 1 Corinthians 7:2-4

-1 Corinthians 6:15-7:9 teaches about sex in marriage.

-This is a COMMAND by God, not an encouragement.

-The same command is given to BOTH wife and husband.

-Each is given the duty of keeping the other sexually satisfied.

B. Taught by definition of love- giving. (NOT giving to get).

-John 3:16 (For God so loved the world that He GAVE); Ephesians 5:25; 1 Corinthians 13

-Jesus said the greatest pleasure is giving (Acts 20:35)

C. This principle opposes:

- Pornography - (This is a childish view of sex)

-Masterbation - (Satisfying self NOT spouse). This turns into habits for alot of people.  It gets them into the habitual mindset of fantasies they create all for their satisfaction.  When people get married, they then have someone to control to get their desires met like in their fantasies.

-Homosexuality - all about self.  Initially having the motive to please their partner, but because homosexuality is opposing the way God created male and female, it is all about self and not about God.  God is definitely not on the throne.

D. The goal of sexual relations is satisfying your spouse.

-May or may not include climax.  (Husbands and wives should be on guard of their motives because they could be manipulating their spouse.)

E. Difficulties with this principle:

-Physical change needed for husband to function.

-Society teaches it occurs from anticipation of pleasure recieved from the change.

-Bible teaches it comes from anticipation of giving pleasure. (Never thought about that one!)

-We must relearn our understanding of this principle according to the way God planned it.

-"But that is not my nature!" - God's word should be your guide, not your nature.

-"How do I know what pleases my mate?" - COMMUNICATION.  Make a list of what pleases you and give it to your spouse.  But as soon as you give it to them, you are giving up any expectation of recieving anything on that list.  You then make it your goal to please your spouse.

4. God has created both husband and wife with equal ability to satisfy each other - 1 Corinthians 7:4.

-Because God is a Sovereign God, He would not give you the wrong spouse.  That spouse was given to you by God, and once you commit to enter into a Holy covenant with them into marriage, you are One.

A. God gave the same principle to each.

B. Each one is to use the body to satisfy his spouse, not himself.  (Christ never served himself).

C. God gave each the same command, then each must have the same or equal ability to obey.

D. This means that both hus. and wife are to be aggressive in sexual relationships. 

E.  Difficulties with this principle:

   - "We have different levels of desire" - Having diff. levels of desire are learned behaviors.

   - "But what if it's not learned, but the way we were made?" - The guideline here is not level of desire, but God's word.

   - "Oversexed" or "undersexed" - both say God made a mistake. The problem is not how you are made, but your willingness to obey God in serving them.

5. Pleasure in sex is not sinful and forbidden but is rather assured and encouraged. - Proverbs 5:18-19

A. Delight in the person - not just in their sexual parts

 -That passage refers to the wife too, - either mate

 - It's a picture of pleasantness of your spouse.

 - Your BEST friend.

 - Desire for her companionship as a person, more than a sexual partner.

B. Delight in the sexual relationship.

- "breasts" signifies sex.

- the word "wife" used in the passage, teaches that real sexual delight can be found only in marriage.

- "Satisfy" - thirst quenched, completely satisfied.

-"ravished"- intoxicated, overwhelmed with satisfaction.

-When put with 1 Cor. 7:3,4, each to completely satisfy the other - should be a delightful task.

6. Sexual relations are to be continuous.  - 1 Corinthians 7:5

A. Deprive or defraud means to withhold through deceit or dishonesty.

- withholding sex from each other for selfish, dishonest reasons.

B. When there is abstinence it is by mutual consent.

C. 4 Biblical guidelines for refraining (in this passage)

D. How Often should a husband and wife have sex?

 - Enough to keep each other satisfied 

 - Enough to avoid temptation!!

Resource options: Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C. J. Mahaney

Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat

Biblical Principles of Sex by Bob Smith

 

Ill share more later about the Biblical principles of Marriage.  That took a long time to type!